chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
