No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
