she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
