he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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