meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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