Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize