dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
