If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
