Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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