just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
