I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
