I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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