Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
