Your face is a jimmy john
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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