Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
