Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
