8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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