wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
