If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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