i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
