hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
