I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
