PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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