My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
