I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
