Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
