When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
