You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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