it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
