my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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