I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Randomize
