yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
