watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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