She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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