Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
