Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
