I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He felt like a one man threesome
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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