I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
