I got chris browned last night
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
