I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Text me some of your sweat
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
