we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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