im about as happy as oj after his trial
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
