I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
