there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize