I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We are all done wearing pants today
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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