at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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