I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
