I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize