i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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