I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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