Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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