i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize