she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
